The comfort of a schedule.....

Well....summer is over. School started for the kids last week, and they are excited to be back. I think for all of us the comfort of having a schedule is nice. We kept ourselves busy this summer with lots of trips up lake to the cabin in Lucerne, days at Slidewaters with friends, time at Mill Bay Resort, and a fun trip to Silverwood to boot. Our house suffered from lack of cleaning and is just now getting back in shape from us being gone so much. It was good to stay busy...Sheri would have wanted it that way.

How are we doing? I get that question a lot. You tell me..... Do we miss Sheri?....of course. The minute by minute pain has subsided to an ache now. I miss her gentle spirit, her loving companionship, our talks in the morning and at night, the notes she would leave me on my desk at work. I miss her touch, her laying next to me in bed, her cooking (this is big for the kids!). I miss sharing my life with her....this is what I miss most of all. It makes me sad to know she won't get to see our children grow to be adults. To see them graduate, or get married, or have kids of their own some day. That we won't get to cruise the San Juans after we retire like we thought we would do. That we won't build that house that we wanted to up on our property where her garden is. All this adds to the ache. How are we doing? You tell me.

At the end of this month, I start a class on grief down in Wenatchee. I'm looking forward to learning some new things to help me in my journey.

The other day I watched the movie "UP" with the kids. I hadn't seen it in a couple of years...since right after mom passed away. When I saw it the first time, I thought of mom and dad...it made me sad. I must have forgotten how sad it made me, because it was like I watched it again for the first time....this time it was about Sheri and I. How can a cartoon stir so much emotion? The scene that hit me most was when he opened up her adventure book and saw all the pictures she had put in there of their lives together and she wrote to him this: Thanks for the great adventure! Now go out and have a new one.

Sheri and I had those same conversations. She would tell me these things through the tears of bad news from the doctors....times when it became hard to look up. We would flash our eyes to a future that might no include her. I don't like to look there for very long...it hurt too much, and I didn't like what I saw. Now........ I live there. I know God has something good out there for Alyssa, Bryce, and I. We are on a new adventure, on an unknown road...no gps, no map......no co pilot.

One of the books I read this summer said this about where I am in my journey: It is as if we are chasing the sunset, running as fast as we can to make it stay. Yet, as hard as we run, it is still setting and getting darker. The fastest way to the light, is to stop and turn around and walk through the darkness behind us to the sunrise waiting on the other side.

How am I doing? I've stopped running......I'm turning around......I'm starting a new adventure......wish me luck.

Looking "UP"

Brett

Happy Birthday Babe.....

Today would have been Sheri's 43rd birthday. (That is tough to write). One of our favorite places to go while we were dating and first married was the top of Stormy Mountain. I'm headed up there today with three red roses...the same as I gave her after our first date...and the same that Alyssa, Bryce and I laid on her casket. I would like to write that this all is getting easier...at times it is....and others, like today...not so much. I knew this would be a tough day. Yes I still ask why, especially on days like today. But my job right now is to be a good dad, move forward every day, and keep looking up.....that is what she would have wanted me to do.....so I do.

We had the opportunity to learn from, and support each other through some pretty tough times. Whenever we got bad news, we would cry, talk it out....then tell each other to suck it up. Today is one of those days.....and I know what she would say.

See you on top of Stormy Babe....Happy Birthday. I Love You!

Keep Looking up!

Brett

I'm still here.....

Well summer is in full swing! Aubrey is doing a great job with Bryce and Alyssa. Lots of time at Slidewaters and the beach down at Mill Bay. I've been up to Lucerne (one of Sheri and my favorite places) a lot...13 days....a little part of me meets her up there every time I go. It has been two months since Sheri passed. Every morning is still hard, every night is harder. It is not an easy thing, but I'm getting through. I know there is something good out there for me and Bryce and Alyssa...we just have to wade through this really muddy section. It might take a while.

Thanks all for caring, and continuing to keep us in your prayers...we feel them. We are off to Silverwood in Idaho for a few days.....

Keep Looking Up

Brett

A dozen roses up lake.....

A week ago the kids and I embarked on a trip up lake...it was a trip Sheri and I had planned for all of us to go on back in January. We stayed at the cabin we have in Lucerne (with Kevin and Mary Amsden), we stayed for seven days. The trip up was super rough... the roughest I've seen it...but we made it in safe and mostly sound (Bryce was worried he told me later...he asked why after he prayed it seemed to get worse...I said we made it didn't we?...he smiled and said Ya we did!....sometimes life is like that). The day after we got there we set off for Stehekin (the 17th). I had brought along a dozen long stem white roses (the symbol for purity). We placed one rose at each of our favorite spots: The cabin in Lucerne, the landing boat docks in Stehekin at our favorite boat slip, the "Be Still" cross (I added a picture and daisies there), Nick Glenn's cabin, the Bakery, Upper and Lower Rainbow Falls (we picnicked at the upper falls the day I asked her to marry me), The Ranch, and High Bridge. If you are counting that's nine. We then set off down lake for Domke Falls. Alyssa, Bryce and I each set a rose in the water off the back of the boat by the falls.

On June 20th it would have been our 19th Anniversary. 21 years ago Sheri's family invited me (we had just started dating) to join them at the Stehekin Valley Ranch for a fun weekend....we all had a blast and ate very well. Sheri's family came up to Lucernce to joint Alyssa, Bryce and I...and we all went up to the Ranch for dinner on the 20th...along with a few friends. The food was great as always (Sheri and I had planned to spend our anniversary at the Ranch...so I did).

It dawned on me that it has been 21 years since I have been up lake with out her. It is still one of my (and our) favorite places to go....so we're going to the cabin again this weekend for more R and R... and fishing, and swimming, and hiking, and playing with friends, (and healing). There's a little part of me that feels a little closer to her up there...maybe because my mind is clearer. I hope to go back up a lot this year and in the future...maybe even once by myself.

Anyway, I know a lot of you have followed our journey, prayed for us, celebrated our triumphs, and mourned Sheri's passing. I thought about stopping this blog all together. After some thought I've decided that this blog has been a blessing to many, and especially to Sheri and I. I will try to blog every now and then to keep you posted on how Alyssa, Bryce and I are getting along on our new journey. I continue to thank God for the time I was blessed to spend with Sheri, and look forward to seeing her again some day....until then we will keep looking up.

Brett

Sheri's garden.....

This weekend we embarked on an ambitious project. For four years Sheri and I have owned a piece of property overlooking Manson in a development called Winesap Ridge, Sheri loved it there. She continued to dream of us building our family home on the property, and us living out our days there. She had the plans for the house in her basket by her favorite chair, and she would pull them out and ask me questions. I would do my best to explain the drawings. Then I'd draw mocked up pictures to help her "see" what it all would look like and she'd have me explain them to her....I think she just liked to make me talk with my hands and use big gestures to help illustrate things.

One of the projects we had hoped to take on this year was a garden at the entry of our property, by the old willow tree she so dearly loved, the one I've written about many times here. I put the idea out there to see where it might go after Sheri passed....she gave it wings! Thanks to all who gave plants, time, and love to this garden....it is far beyond anything we had ever dreamed of! I know she is smiling down on it....when was she not smiling? Feel free to go up and enjoy it....

Looking up,

Brett, Bryce, and Alyssa

>>> Before we started <<<

>>> After a good mow and trim <<<

>>> After all the work!!! <<<

A great tribute to a great woman....

Thanks to all who attended Sheri's service yesterday...it was increadible! I am very blessed to have spent the past 21 years of my life with her by my side. Thank you as well for all the plant and flowers. We are working on trying to get Sheri's garden together at our property....I'll keep you all informed.

Looking up,

Brett

Sheri Sue La Mar (Gardner)

Sheri Sue La Mar (Gardner), 42 of Manson, victoriously crossed the finish line into the arms of her Savior Jesus Christ the morning of May 31st, 2011. She lived this life with grace, poise, humility, bravery, courage, joy, and with a beautiful smile on her face that lit up a room, and a giving heart and spirit for others. She had a gift for lifting the spirits of those around her like no other, even through difficult times in life. She was born to Roger and Sue Gardner in Tacoma on August 24th 1968. After a brief time in Bellingham, her family soon moved to the Methow valley where she attended school at Pateros and the Methow Valley Christian Academy, graduating from Pateros High School in 1987. She attended Northwest College (University) in Kirkland where she attained her degree in Elementary Education in 1992. During college, Sheri was an RA for her dormitory, helping many young girls navigate life’s many issues. In 1990 her family moved their home to Manson, where she met her future best friend and husband, Brett La Mar. The two were married on June 20th, 1992. Sheri and Brett moved home to Manson that summer from Kirkland to assist in running the family business, Lake Chelan Building Supply, due to an illness with Brett’s mother. Sheri began to substitute teach in the area schools, and attained a long term substitute job in the Lake Chelan school district before becoming a full time first grade and kindergarten teacher at Manson Elementary in 1993, where she taught until April of this year. Nearly 400 students came through her classroom over her 19 years of teaching, dubbed by her as “Mrs. La Mar’s Super Stars.” She taught each child that life has no limits, and encouraged them to strive for their dreams and aspirations, treating life’s issues as obstacles that can be overcome, not roadblocks. If God finds pleasure watching us do what we were created for, He definitely found pleasure in watching Sheri teach, she was amazing with children. Sheri and Brett where also involved in the youth ministry program at North Shore Bible Church for nearly ten years, where Sheri also taught Sunday school. In 1999, after many years of trying, Sheri and Brett were blessed with a child of their own, Alyssa Rose La Mar. Just over two years later they were blessed again with Bryce Edward La Mar. Their children brought joy, laughter, pride, and adventure into their lives. As a family they enjoy the beauty that only the Lake Chelan area can offer by boating, swimming, camping, driving in the mountains, and snowmobiling and skiing in the winters. The La Mar’s especially enjoy visiting Stehekin and Lucerne in upper Lake Chelan, making frequent trips each year. In 2007 Sheri was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. She faced her battle with extreme courage and determination, and a strength which only comes through Jesus, and a relationship with Him.
Sheri is survived by her husband Brett of the home, as well as her two beautiful children Alyssa (11) and Bryce (9), also of the home. Her parents, Roger and Sue Gardner of Entiat, as well as her brother Bret and his wife Barb Gardner, their children, Kyrie and Kayden also of Entiat, and her grandmother Ruth Erlandsen of Brewster.
Services will be held on Tuesday June 7th at 3:30 pm at North Shore Bible Church in Manson, Wa., with a reception to follow. The family would like to plant a garden in Sheri's memory, so if you would bring potted plants that they could plant in her garden. Her favorite colors were pink and white.