One year ago....

One year ago today, at 10:16am….I had the wonderful opportunity to usher one the greatest people I will ever know and love into the waiting arms of Jesus. Sheri embodied the strength of Christ in her life, and let His light shine brightly through her onto others. It was a true and utter joy and honor to have called her my bride for 19 years…and the caring mother to Alyssa and Bryce. She is missed by us all. We miss her beautiful smile that lit up any room….her kind and caring demeanor…..and the way she bounced when she walked. We miss her kind words of encouragement….even when things looked bad for her. We miss her gentle spirit that seemed to keep us all calm in the midst of life’s hectic moments. I miss my best friend…and the kids miss their mommy. Oh…and the kids really miss her cooking (sorry guys, dad is doing his best!).

Today is a road marker on this new journey in life….one without Sheri here to share it with us…..but one that has her embedded deep into who we are moving up this new trail. Sheri lives inside our hearts….we are forever changed for having known and loved her. For that very fact, I thank God every day. And through what Jesus did for us all, we will see her again.

Please take time today to hug your spouse, your friends, your kids….all those that mean something special to you….and tell them that you love them. That would make Sheri happy.

Thanks you all again, for all your prayers for us over these last several years….and especially this past year.

Take time to look up Psalms 118:24…..it was her favorite verse.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms%20118:24&version=KJV


And remember….

Keep Looking Up!

Brett (Alyssa and Bryce)



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Merry Christmas......

Merry Christmas from the La Mar's. This Christmas is special in many ways. First, it is our first Christmas without Sheri. Christmas was always her favorite holiday. She would decorate the house, and have the Christmas music playing as soon as she could. Christmas day was always a fun and exciting time of a big breakfast together, reading the story of the birth of Jesus, and of course, presents for the kids. I knew when Sheri passed, that I needed to change things up for Christmas. I chose to take us to Hawaii. Not to run away, but to make it different. Today was a very full day. We opened no gifts today. No Tree. No music. We did read the story of Jesus birth. Today we went snorkeling with fish and turtles, took a nap, and went to the top of Mount Haleakala at 10,000' and watched the sunset.
We took time to reflect, respect, honor, and reminisce about Christmas past.....laughing, crying, and missing where we have been. We also took time to live life, which is exactly what Sheri would have wanted us to do. That is the most honoring thing we can do.
Today we looked back on the events that have shaped us into who we are, we enjoyed today and lived it fully, and we pulled up our boots....looked the future square in the eye, and took a step forward, knowing God wants good for us....
Thank you all for all the love, support, prayers, and grace.

Merry Christmas
Looking up!

Brett, Alyssa, and Bryce

Thankful......

I thought I should post, since I have not in a while. Thanksgiving is here, so in that vain, I thought I should write where we are, and what I am thankful for.


First, I am thankful for Jesus, and what He did on the cross! I am thankful for His grace, because I have needed every measure of it I could get the last several months, and I will continue to pray for my quota everyday....


I am thankful for two wonderful, healthy children. Who miss their mother, but have learned to navigate life with a single dad at the helm. I am thankful for their grace with me as well.


I am thankful for a supportive bunch of friends and a loving supportive family.....who have loved me. Bryce, and Alyssa in our grief, and now in our healing.


I am thankful for 21 years. 21 years that I was blessed to have known Sheri. My life is forever changed by her. Her grace for me was overflowing. Her love for me until the end. I will forever love her, and I will never forget her and what she meant to me. I look forward to our reunion in heaven some day.

I am thankful that God wants good for me and my kids....looking into the future with hope and curiosity as to what that might bring....knowing that He has my back. He has brought us this far...I will trust Him with my future.

Alyssa and Bryce are doing well in school. They are looking forward to basketball and skiing this winter. At Christmas we are all three headed to Hawaii. It is a place Sheri always wanted all of us to go, so we are going. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support....and grace too! As we make our way into the future, and our new life as a family, we will need those prayers and grace to draw upon.

Looking Up,
Brett, Alyssa, Bryce

The comfort of a schedule.....

Well....summer is over. School started for the kids last week, and they are excited to be back. I think for all of us the comfort of having a schedule is nice. We kept ourselves busy this summer with lots of trips up lake to the cabin in Lucerne, days at Slidewaters with friends, time at Mill Bay Resort, and a fun trip to Silverwood to boot. Our house suffered from lack of cleaning and is just now getting back in shape from us being gone so much. It was good to stay busy...Sheri would have wanted it that way.

How are we doing? I get that question a lot. You tell me..... Do we miss Sheri?....of course. The minute by minute pain has subsided to an ache now. I miss her gentle spirit, her loving companionship, our talks in the morning and at night, the notes she would leave me on my desk at work. I miss her touch, her laying next to me in bed, her cooking (this is big for the kids!). I miss sharing my life with her....this is what I miss most of all. It makes me sad to know she won't get to see our children grow to be adults. To see them graduate, or get married, or have kids of their own some day. That we won't get to cruise the San Juans after we retire like we thought we would do. That we won't build that house that we wanted to up on our property where her garden is. All this adds to the ache. How are we doing? You tell me.

At the end of this month, I start a class on grief down in Wenatchee. I'm looking forward to learning some new things to help me in my journey.

The other day I watched the movie "UP" with the kids. I hadn't seen it in a couple of years...since right after mom passed away. When I saw it the first time, I thought of mom and dad...it made me sad. I must have forgotten how sad it made me, because it was like I watched it again for the first time....this time it was about Sheri and I. How can a cartoon stir so much emotion? The scene that hit me most was when he opened up her adventure book and saw all the pictures she had put in there of their lives together and she wrote to him this: Thanks for the great adventure! Now go out and have a new one.

Sheri and I had those same conversations. She would tell me these things through the tears of bad news from the doctors....times when it became hard to look up. We would flash our eyes to a future that might no include her. I don't like to look there for very long...it hurt too much, and I didn't like what I saw. Now........ I live there. I know God has something good out there for Alyssa, Bryce, and I. We are on a new adventure, on an unknown road...no gps, no map......no co pilot.

One of the books I read this summer said this about where I am in my journey: It is as if we are chasing the sunset, running as fast as we can to make it stay. Yet, as hard as we run, it is still setting and getting darker. The fastest way to the light, is to stop and turn around and walk through the darkness behind us to the sunrise waiting on the other side.

How am I doing? I've stopped running......I'm turning around......I'm starting a new adventure......wish me luck.

Looking "UP"

Brett

Happy Birthday Babe.....

Today would have been Sheri's 43rd birthday. (That is tough to write). One of our favorite places to go while we were dating and first married was the top of Stormy Mountain. I'm headed up there today with three red roses...the same as I gave her after our first date...and the same that Alyssa, Bryce and I laid on her casket. I would like to write that this all is getting easier...at times it is....and others, like today...not so much. I knew this would be a tough day. Yes I still ask why, especially on days like today. But my job right now is to be a good dad, move forward every day, and keep looking up.....that is what she would have wanted me to do.....so I do.

We had the opportunity to learn from, and support each other through some pretty tough times. Whenever we got bad news, we would cry, talk it out....then tell each other to suck it up. Today is one of those days.....and I know what she would say.

See you on top of Stormy Babe....Happy Birthday. I Love You!

Keep Looking up!

Brett

I'm still here.....

Well summer is in full swing! Aubrey is doing a great job with Bryce and Alyssa. Lots of time at Slidewaters and the beach down at Mill Bay. I've been up to Lucerne (one of Sheri and my favorite places) a lot...13 days....a little part of me meets her up there every time I go. It has been two months since Sheri passed. Every morning is still hard, every night is harder. It is not an easy thing, but I'm getting through. I know there is something good out there for me and Bryce and Alyssa...we just have to wade through this really muddy section. It might take a while.

Thanks all for caring, and continuing to keep us in your prayers...we feel them. We are off to Silverwood in Idaho for a few days.....

Keep Looking Up

Brett

A dozen roses up lake.....

A week ago the kids and I embarked on a trip up lake...it was a trip Sheri and I had planned for all of us to go on back in January. We stayed at the cabin we have in Lucerne (with Kevin and Mary Amsden), we stayed for seven days. The trip up was super rough... the roughest I've seen it...but we made it in safe and mostly sound (Bryce was worried he told me later...he asked why after he prayed it seemed to get worse...I said we made it didn't we?...he smiled and said Ya we did!....sometimes life is like that). The day after we got there we set off for Stehekin (the 17th). I had brought along a dozen long stem white roses (the symbol for purity). We placed one rose at each of our favorite spots: The cabin in Lucerne, the landing boat docks in Stehekin at our favorite boat slip, the "Be Still" cross (I added a picture and daisies there), Nick Glenn's cabin, the Bakery, Upper and Lower Rainbow Falls (we picnicked at the upper falls the day I asked her to marry me), The Ranch, and High Bridge. If you are counting that's nine. We then set off down lake for Domke Falls. Alyssa, Bryce and I each set a rose in the water off the back of the boat by the falls.

On June 20th it would have been our 19th Anniversary. 21 years ago Sheri's family invited me (we had just started dating) to join them at the Stehekin Valley Ranch for a fun weekend....we all had a blast and ate very well. Sheri's family came up to Lucernce to joint Alyssa, Bryce and I...and we all went up to the Ranch for dinner on the 20th...along with a few friends. The food was great as always (Sheri and I had planned to spend our anniversary at the Ranch...so I did).

It dawned on me that it has been 21 years since I have been up lake with out her. It is still one of my (and our) favorite places to go....so we're going to the cabin again this weekend for more R and R... and fishing, and swimming, and hiking, and playing with friends, (and healing). There's a little part of me that feels a little closer to her up there...maybe because my mind is clearer. I hope to go back up a lot this year and in the future...maybe even once by myself.

Anyway, I know a lot of you have followed our journey, prayed for us, celebrated our triumphs, and mourned Sheri's passing. I thought about stopping this blog all together. After some thought I've decided that this blog has been a blessing to many, and especially to Sheri and I. I will try to blog every now and then to keep you posted on how Alyssa, Bryce and I are getting along on our new journey. I continue to thank God for the time I was blessed to spend with Sheri, and look forward to seeing her again some day....until then we will keep looking up.

Brett